TROUBLE IN THE "AMEN CORNER"
'Twas a stylish congregation, that of Theophrastus
And it's organ was the finest and the biggest in the town;
And the chorus-all the papers favorably commented on it,
For 'twas said each female member
had a forty-dollar bonnet.
Now in the "amen corner" of the church sat Brother Eyer,
Who persisted every Sabbath day in singing with the choir;
He was poor, but genteel looking, and his heart as snow was white,
And his face beamed with sweetness when he sung with all his might.
His voice was cracked and broken; age had touched his vocal chords.
And nearly every Sunday he would mispronounce the words
Of the hymns, and 'twas no wonder; he was old and nearly blind,
And the choir rattling onward always left him far behind.
The chorus stormed and blustered, Brother Eyer sang too slow,
And then he used the tunes in vogue a hundred years ago;
At last the storm cloud burst and the church was told, in fine,
That the brother must stop singing, or the choir would resign.
Then the pasor called together in the lecture room one day
Seven influential members, who subscribe more than they pay,
And having ask God's guidance in a printed prayer or two
They put their heads together to determine what to do.
They debated, thought, suggested, till at last "dear Brother York,"
Who last winter made a million on a sudden rise in pork,
Rose and moved that a committee wait at once on Brother Eyer,
And proceed to rake him lively "for disturbin' of the choir."
said he: "In that 'ere organ I've invested quite a pile,
And we'll sell it if we cannot worship in the latest style;
Our Philadelphy tenor tells me 'tis the hardest thing
For to make God understand him when the brother tries to sing.
"We've got the biggest organ, the best-dressed choir in town,
We pay the steepest sal'ry to our pastor, Brother Brown;
But if we must humor ignorance because it's blind and old-
If the choir's to be pestered, I will seek another fold."
Of course the motion carried, and one day a coach-and-
With the latest style of driver, rattled up to Eyer's door.
And the sleek, well-dressed committee, Brothers Sharkey, York and Lamb,
As they crossed the humble portal took good care to miss the jamb.
They found the choir's great-trouble sitting in his old armchair,
And the summer's golden sunbeams lay upon his thin white hair,
He was singing "Rock of Ages" in a voice both cracked and low,
But the angels understood him, 'twas all he cared to know.